In a sensational real-life twist on the famous eighties headline The Spoof can report: "My Hamster ate Freddie Starr"
The amazing incident happened at Spamton Garden Fete this summer, when the TV funny man was judging the best rodent in the show competition.
Barry Barracuda, the owner of the little Hammy takes up the tale:
"Hammy was in his wheel when Freddie came up to us. Almost immediately the madcap entertainer launched into one of his famous Norman Wisdom impressions.
Little did he know that it was a fatal mistake as we had got Hammy from the Hamster Rescue Centre two months earlier. He had been abandoned by his previous callous owner, Mr Grimsdale, and when unfortunate Freddy said this 'trigger phrase', Hammy went wild
He bit Freddie on the finger and we all had a right old giggle about it" chuckles Barry before adding:
"Freddie was a real gent about the whole thing and said if the papers got hold of it they'd have a field day, so keep schtum Bazza and say nuffink, or my brief will be on to you quicker than a whirling Dervish" chuntered the clearly delighted hamster owner.
The Spoof contacted Freddie's agent about the story but got no joy either way, so we can only surmise that this yarn may or may not be true.
But you have to admit readers, that if it is... then it's a hoot!