Written by K.C. Bell
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Tuesday, 23 September 2014

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Yes, Scotland has No bananas: 55% No bananas. As Katherine Hepburn once said about Fred Astaire, "Ginger Rogers made Fred more masculine." Like Ginger, Scotland made England more masculine. And as former Governor of Texas Ann Richards once pointed out, "Everything Fred did, Ginger did, but she did it backwards and in high heels."

Go Scotland!

The Ginger and Fred marriage of Scotland and England was almost over; Scotland planning to keep the oil and England the china.

Recognizing the referendum as a nasty and final divorce, England announced that they would no longer: keep all the revenue from the North Sea oil reserve, (claiming it was only dripping out of the spigot and practically down to fumes) Scotland could also keep their haggis, Sean Connery, the Glasgow shipyards, bagpipes, the British pound, health care, Scotch, social security, but not their independence or Andy Murray. Independence was like divorce without any hope of reconciliation or alimony.

Think of the children!

The three lads from Parliament: David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband, ventured north to the wilds of Scotland using GPS, maps, road signs, dowsing pendulums and tuning forks, vowing to be real good to the Scots, and not behaved as England had behaved for the last three hundred years.

Translation: No longer screw the Scots.

No longer screw the Scots?

Some confession. Another argument in favor of independence? How out of touch could the three lads be? Were they suffering from jet lag, train lag, coach bumps, thinking they were in true alien territory and had to talk nice?

The talk nice argument might have worked in Italy, "Yeah, sure, pass the pasta. Sophia Loren just turned 80." But not in keen, weather-ravaged, kilt-wearing Scotland.

At least none of the tree lads from Parliament were thrown into a dumpster as was done earlier in the week to a Ukrainian official from the former regime.

Referendum day and Scotland decided upon reconciliation. Why divide a great team? So Fred Astaire was left in Trafalgar Square singing, A Foggy Day In London Town.

...and in foggy London town the sun is still shinning, everyday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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