London - (Associated Mess): The Metropolitan Police's Antiquities Division has warned that fake archaeological artefacts and hysterical memorabilia are being flogged on internet auction sites and are funding terror-related organisations like the Labour Party.
The news comes after months of surveillance operations centred on dodgy relics purporting to be Holy Land mementos of the Last Supper eaten at Judea's Last Chance Saloon by a group of fanatical Creationist fishermen during the Roman occupation.
The alleged antiquities have been traded as bona fide miracle cures for un-hexing official police investigations into the loans-for-honours scam. Some have produced record prices which have then been funnelled into front companies ostensibly run by one 'Jeffrey Archer Esq', the well-known Tory perjury jailbird and former Conservative Party Treasurer.
UK cops have estimated the scam has been producing over £100 million per annum.
Some items seized by the police will be exhibited next year at a specially crafted exhibition stall outside the Queen Mother Memorial Gates in Central London's Hype Park, the official entrance to the Princess Diana Memorial Miracle Healing Fountain.
You have been warned!