Written by Trinculoman
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Topics: Mystery , stonehenge

Sunday, 14 September 2014

image for The Secret of Stonehenge Finally Explained

Long-time Stonehenge researcher and aficionado Archy Ollie Geist for years has been obsessed with getting at the true meaning of the ancient, mysterious site on the Salisbury Plain.

Recent renewed ground radar analysis has brought to light previously unknown or overlooked additional harrows, henges, and buried stones.

The result has been to complicate further any decoding of the puzzle posed by Stonehenge and environs.

To assist with the process, Geist sent the recent findings to a variety of field experts to get their explanation of "what is Stonehenge, really?'

The results of this crowd-sourced collection on the true purpose and use of area Archy has published on his website: StonehengeRedidivus.org.

Notable findings follow:

"Remains of a bowling alley for that race of primordial Albion Giants." by Bud Plank@mythicsport.net

"A state-of-the-art Stone Age Earth wearable device for communal solstice sharing." from Guy Weedsnifter of the New Age Techite News.

"A Neolithic open-air knocking shoppe for the paleo-libidinous." from Randy O. Gasem@bandelerospree.com

"A provocative installation of fossilized brontosaurus turds, innovatively devised and assembled by an anonymous Druidic artiste. Truly defining Stonehenge's interiority." by Sasha Anna Toukussali of the Novo Gustamalo Gallery

"Locus of prehistoric dodgy entrepreneurs, where grafters "sold" the monument multiple times to credulous Neanderthals." - Bernie Goldheld of CNBC.

"Culminating point for a procession of poxy pilgrims seeking to purge viral STDs at that magnetronic center of contemporary alternative medicine." from Dr. Vitalou Puce of the Center for Tantric Effluence.

"Stones are arranged in an astronomically strategic position for Klingon landing parties." - Stanley V. Spackley of Star-Trek Monthly.

"Earliest known venue for a Concert of Rocks." - Nat Bentklopft of The Village Voice

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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