Written by Auntie Jean
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Wednesday, 27 August 2014

image for Scottish Independence Live Debate - Jeremy Kylie Opens DNA Test Results

Scotland's Independence campaign took a new twist last night on a live head to head between Alexei Salmon and Jeremy Kylie.

During the show Kylie opened an envelope with the results of a voluntary D.N.A test to establish whether Salmon was a love child of Melville Gibsan, set to play William Wallace's great grandson three times removed in a new BBC2 documentary. After the results were declared positive, Gibsan, who is described as a "resting" actor, denied ever having had a relationship with Salmon's mother, Doris. Gibsan then apparently lost his temper on Saturday's prime time Channel 6 show, having to be escorted off stage by Kylie's bodyguards.

Alexei Salmon's scriptwriters were last night said to be checking the closing speech made by him on live T.V. On the show, Alexei appears to shout, "Go back to England and tell them there that Scotland's daughters and her sons are yours no more. Tell them Scotland is free!"
This, of course was part of the pre-battle speech in "Braveheart".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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