A man from somewhere was this morning weighing up the possibility of watching one of two vitally important and serious debates scheduled for our beloved televisual delights tonight.
One of these debates centres around the impending cataclysmic or imminently indifferent event of Scottish Independence, involving a fish and a pair of eyebrows.
The fish will assert that Scotland has nothing to fear from going independent despite being socially conditioned to feel that way for generations by an inherently pro-unionist media and, in turn, society. That will raise eyebrows.
The pair of eyebrows shall play their hand and proclaim the United Kingdom as secure, prosperous and unbroken, and predict a poor financial scenario for an Independent Scotland.
The BBC say the debate shall begin after a set of live songs, continuing intermittently throughout the night, by Status Quo.
The other debate involves a Scouser and a Mancunian pedantically banging on in hair-splitting detail about other men playing a game. A really serious game. Of sport.
The Scouser is sick of being made out to be inferior to the Mancunian and is intent on outdoing the Mancunian man, though is perilously close to allowing his face to explode from red inflammation. This may happen tonight.
The Mancunian man meanwhile is suffering a drop in confidence after being part of an ill fated England World Cup campaign where his seemingly peerless knowledge was cut down to size by peers with better knowledge.
The man is decidedly indecisive, though will probably just watch a repeat of one of them. Whatever he does decide, one things for sure, nothing is certain.