Written by Duff
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Tuesday, 21 November 2006

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Used and abused

The Spoof's undercover reporter Jason Skulker has today broken his cover to reveal details of the latest assignment that he has been working on.

Six months ago he infiltrated a group of traffic bollards that had been left in a lay-by somewhere in the Midlands. From that day to this he has sat there in clever conical orange and white make-up trying to suss out exactly what is going on.

He filed a report two months ago that told of a gang of road workers who stopped in the lay-by and were going to load him and his fellow bollards onto the back of a flat-bed truck. But in the end though they only threw their sandwich wrappers on the ground and drove off.

The Spoof can now reveal that despite the small stock that was Jason and his fellow bollards, the Highways Agency has, in a wanton orgy of waste, ordered ten thousand brand new ones leaving him and his pals high and dry.

Back in the Spoof's palatial offices he was sadly philosophical about the assignment.

"I'm sorry to have left the lads, they were a great bunch but sometimes you gotta just move on innit?" he said in a sadly philosophical manner.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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