Written by Keith Mackie
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Topics: Celebrities

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

In an article in today's Daily Rant, it is alleged that the majority of pop stars, DJs and TV presenters are not child molesters, paedophiles or rapists.

Music journalist Danny Jones, in an exclusive interview for the Rant, has claimed that nearly all media celebrities are in fact in normal monogamous relationships, and do not constitute a threat to young people.

"There are a few sick individuals who give the rest of the entertainers a bad name, but most of them do not molest young girls or boys, or indulge in deviant sexual practices."

The BBC has, for the moment, declined to comment on the matter, but questions have been raised in the House of Commons. Sir Toby Farqueson, M.P., has said:

"There clearly has been a cover up at the BBC for many years. These celebrities are in a position of great influence, and have clearly been abusing it."

Radio 1 DJ Johnny Lee Davis, recently cleared of charges that he is faithful to his wife and has not molested young girls, has said:

"There is clearly a witch hunt going on. How people like me are expected to fulfil the statutory obligations of celebrities to be predatory sex maniacs is beyond me."

The Metropolitan Police have announced that they are mounting an investigation into the allegations.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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