Written by NerdInBriefs
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Topics: Cliff Richard

Saturday, 16 August 2014

image for Humanitarian Mission or Guerrilla Fighters - Convoy of Cliff Richard Fans Waiting At Portugal Border

Overnight another thousand routemasters arrived in this dusty border town on the Spanish side of the border with Portugal, joining the already 20,000 iconic London buses already gathered over the last few days. Cliff Richard fans behind this contentious humanitarian mission, argue that they need to deliver supplies to their under siege hero and are expected to make a push tonight to cross the border.

The only thing standing in their way is the Portuguese border guards who under pressure from Britain, have closed the border to the fan club. Some fear this is a Trojan horse operation with armed fans prepared to die to protect Richard, in order to stop him having to return to the Uk and speak to the police.

The Portuguese tourist board having worked hard to encourage the English louts to return after seeing Portugal as boring, fear the bland reputation returning if half a million Cliff fans run amok. Spain, happy to do anything that will annoy the British government, who requested their borders to also be sealed, has welcomed the fans with open arms.

Within the Routemaster convoy it is a strangely carnival atmosphere for the thousands of Cliff Richard fans, mostly middle age women, also enjoying being away from their long suffering husbands, Despite being fired up by what they see as a gross injustice to their idol by the British media, they all seem well well behaved The bemused local men, have been plying the women with cheap Sangria in order for them to stop singing, but have stopped short of trying to sleep with them.

What is the real aim of the mission? Behind the conviviality it's is alleged that some of the routemasters are stacked full of ammunition, and late at night out of view of prying eyes and the media, these women are training in guerrilla warfare.

Can these middle aged women be willing to die for their hero as some are suggesting so as to stop Cliff returning to the UK? Frustratingly for the security services, little is known about these fans, which have been the butt of jokes for many years, for their slavish devotion. Now questions are being asked as to the mental instability amongst these fans, who withdrew from reality long ago,

Cliff Richard, holed up in his Portuguese villa, has been stoking their their anger, in daily calls broadcast on tanoys, attacking the sinister powers in the establishment, wanting to wipe him and his music off the face of the earth.

American FBI agents who were involved in the storming of Waco have been overnight liaising with British government and the SAS, showing that the British have little faith in the supposed good intentions of the convoy, and so preparing for the worst.

In the last few hours more evidence has emerged of a sinister side to their cultish devotion. Cliff through his later recordings, which had stopped getting any airplay, planted many hidden messages in his lyrics, calling for violence if he ever came under threat. Now that times has arrived, will the fans deliver what Cliff has supposedly asked them?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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