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Friday, 15 August 2014

image for Pulled pork to be banned (sort of)
Put some man jam on my ham

The UK Food Organisation (UFO) has made a recommendation to the government to ban pulled pork, or at least the naming of it. Food inspectors from Food UK (FUK) have complained to UFO that the term is being widely misused and could lead to the spread of STDs.

FUK have stated that pulled pork is officially defined by EU legislation as "a pig that has been hung, drawn and quartered, then stretched on a rack until the skin is red." Whereas most common usage of pulled pork indicates that some man has literally "pulled his pork" over the meat.

The discrepancy was spotted by the only homosexual in the food standards agency, who recognised the taste of semen immediately when the group visited a McShits restaurant for a sampling recently. He explained, "It was delicious, but as it dripped down my chin, I did wonder whether it was legal. Such meat should be labelled suitably, for example, as a Spunkburger or a cummy sandwich."

"Pulled pork" must now by law either refer to the official EU definition, or else be renamed as wanked-on meat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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