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Wednesday, 6 August 2014

image for Baroness Warsi Blames Cameron's Silence at Pub Quiz on Gaza - Real Reason She Quit

The fall out continues from the resignation of Baroness Warsi over the governments stance on Gaza. Eye witnesses have come forward who recall being at a pub quiz earlier in the summer, when the Israel and Palestine issue first flared up, as the catalyst for her leaving.

The topic of the quiz in July was Gaza, as was only fitting for the Westminster boozer trying to think of ways to satisfy their niche market of politicos following England's disappointing performance in the World Cup and lacklustre beer sales.

The pub was packed, as politicians sought to outsmart their frenemies and one such team was David Cameron and Baroness Warsi with other members of the cabinet. Little did she know that Cameron has no interest in the team winning the Gaza quiz. So why did he come?

Things has started off well for Warsi and Cameron's team, including 'guess the picture of the missile' round where they scored top points. However in the 'guess the air strike' round, where the pub had to listen to noises being played and establish if it was Israel or Gaza firing, things got a little bit tense.

It is alleged the Warsi was disappointed, that Cameron refused to guess correctly, never picking Israel, and that his tone was rather condescending when he refused to listen to her saying that Gazan missiles are too small to sound like that.

When it came to the general knowledge round, Cameron's complete failure to know much about Gaza's geography or any of its famous points of interest, infuriated her. Worse was to come, when she finally decided if she couldn't do another pub quiz with Cameron with someone so silent on key questions, then why was she in government with him.

In the rebuild the puzzle round, they had to take pieces of gazan rubble and make it into a building they thought it came from; such as a house, a post office or a hospital. Cameron refused to take part, citing he has lost his voice and so was unable to shout any instructions, and his fingers hurt from all the texting he'd been doing to the his donors, and so would be no good to anyone. Warsi felt she was now doing all the work, as Cameron and the rest of the team looked on as she raced against the clock building a hospital from a million different pieces.

Cameron then showed his complete lack of being a team player, by mocking Warsi's effort saying there were no hospitals in Gaza so how could she build one, joking she had great imagination. Further undermining Warsi's skills in this round and so stopping the team getting top points, Cameron argued that the thinking of the quiz master was flawed and disproportionately biased, seeing the whole of Gaza as one big hospital.

On the 'Blame Game' round, when they were asked to see what was true or what was propaganda from Israel or Hamas, Cameron was caught in the toilet by the organisers phoning an Israeli politician for answers. Warsi, having seen the team slip from first to fifth place already, was angry, not at Cameron calling an Israeli, but that his cheating actions led to their team being disqualified.

Warsi hating being disqualified from a quiz on Gaza, tried to join the Palestinian Solidarity Parliamentary table, but was humiliated in front of the pub, as they accused her of being an mole for Mossad. A tearful Waris fled the pub and despite calls from Cameron, she refused to return, wanting to go back to her constituency, feeling she had let them down by not bringing back the pub quiz trophy.

Cameron has since released a statement agreeing some of the facts from the quiz evening but also attacked her quiz skills; he states that Warsi is a sore loser when it comes to pub quizzes, this incident highlights her reputation for wanting to win at all costs on anything to do with 'specialist issues' and craves to be seen to know everything and she has been barred from many pubs in the Westminster area for attacking he team mates when they lose.

Cameron feels also Warsi owes him an apology - not for leaving government, which he doesn't really care about as he is off on summer holidays - he is more angry that he felt forced by Warsi to take part in a quiz that was extremely biased in favour of Gaza and feels stitched up. The quiz had compromised Cameron amongst his peers and had he of known of the anti Israeli bias of the quiz he wouldn't have taken part, preferring to watch a good Israeli drama at home with the wife with good glass of wine rather than stale ale in a pub with morally flawed unwashed Palestinian sympathisers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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