Written by Patrick Parkinson

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Monday, 4 August 2014

image for New study reveals most petrol sold now in UK is 98% marmite

Fuel experts revealed on Sunday night a shocking new report which stated that petrol stations across the country had been diluting the petrol they were selling with the food spread Marmite.

An unknown source from an unnamed oil company defended the decision to use Marmite "rising fuel prices and wars around the world have made it impossible to keep up with drivers demand for petrol."

"eventually we found that people didn't notice the difference in texture or consistency between marmite and petrol so we started to fill our pumps with the spread".

Despite this substitution, many people hadn't noticed the difference and experts believe that the vast majority of cars on the roads today are all running on tar-like product.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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