Written by Duff
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Monday, 20 November 2006

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Two Jags is trying not to!

"Britain is going down the nick under Tony Blair's regime" says portly politician John Prescott.

In an amazing outburst that's very definitely 'off message', the rotund bloater of a Deputy PM has laid it on the line big style.

"This isn't the Britain we promised voters back in '97" moaned a clearly under the weather rabble-rouser.

"We promised things were gonna get better under New Labour, remember D Ream? Well things have only got worse not better in my opinion" he added.

The Spoof can reveal that this outburst could well have been fuelled by drink and Prescott's bitter disappointment at not having won the £125 million jackpot on this week's Euro Lottery.

A Westminster insider told us that on the day of his outburst, Porky Two-jags had hit the bar about 11:30am and stayed there until 3:30 until some shadowy figure from the Whip's office got him out of there "on the quiet and with no fuss"

However he was back out and in front of the World's Media by 5:30 and it was then he gave tongue to the astonishing tirade.

Downing Street was tonight playing down the story and nobody from the press office was available for comment as we went to press to press this amazing tale.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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