Written by Keith Mackie
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Topics: Nick Clegg

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

The Government has been rocked by allegations that the Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, is a secret Liberal. An article published in yesterdays Guardian claims that Clegg was in fact for years the leader of a party called the Liberal Democrats. This party stood for electoral reform, an end to tuition fees, higher taxes for the rich and opposition to foreign interventions. Other figures mentioned are the Business Secretary Vince Cable and the Scottish Secretary Danny Alexander.

"Mr Clegg needs to come clean about this." says Guardian columnist Peter Blair. "He cannot hide his embarrassing past any more."

The Deputy Prime Minister has issued a statement vigorously denying the allegations.

"This is a complete slur, and the Guardian should retract these claims. The idea that I led a party in opposition, attacked the two main parties, pretended to be different, and then, once holding the balance of power in a hung parliament, entered a coalition with the Tories, and did all the things I used to criticise, is clearly absurd."

The Prime Minister, David Cameron, has weighed in to the controversy, saying: "If Nick Clegg was a Liberal, I'd have known about it a long time ago. We don't sweep these things under the carpet like we used to any more."

Vince Cable is currently unavailable for comment, as he is in Saudi Arabia, selling arms to religious fanatics, of the kind we have been fighting in other countries for the past 13 years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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