Written by Auntie Jean
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Sunday, 27 July 2014

image for "Carry On" Films - Surviving Cast Members Innocent Of Any Bottom Pinching - CPS Finding
Harmless carry on

Requests by Operation "Holly Bush" investigators to interview surviving cast members of all "Ooh Err Missis!" Carry On films have been dismissed by the CPS, who described it as a farce.

All the bottom pinching, innuendos and improper suggestions were found by investigators to be just a bit of "slap and tickle" in keeping with the ethos of the series of films.

The film, "Carry On Dick" where Dick Turpin was portrayed as a highwayman who terrorised the countryside around Upper Dencher was cleared of all innuendo and bottom pinching portrayals. Captain Fancey and Sergeant Jock Strapp were not asked to help with any inquiries.

A further inquiry relating to a big pair of knockers was dropped after they were found in someone's drawers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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