Amateur weather forecaster Albert Puma has made his pronouncements on the long-range weather for 2007. The sprightly octogenarian at 83 is reputed to be "at best jammy", if he gets his forecast anywhere close to being right.
The Spoof asked the perky pensioner how he does it.
"Well it's something that's been handed down from generation to generation in the Puma family. I don't use seaweed or any of that old nonsense. I just take the same approach as astrologers do and make the effing thing up son!" He told Tony Jallop our features reporter.
According to the elderly pundit the first three months are going to be "up and down", the next three "may be fine or then again they may not be", the following three should be "all right and that like" and the run up to Xmas 2007 "could well be taters boy"
A Met Office spokesman commented:
"Albert is a doddery old pillock but his heart's in the right place and we love his bonkers forecasts really"