In an astute move the Government has appointed Tony Blair to track down the missing dossier containing startling evidence of widespread sexual misconduct at Westminster in the 1980's.
Meanwhile all airports have been put on alert throughout Britain and the United States to try and locate the dossier among the baggage of suspected sex offenders.
However we can reveal exclusively that Spoof's super mole, Joe Willey, has dug up the dossier in a Rochdale car park. Willey informs us that the dossier entitled 'Massive Cock Up' has the instruction 'Bury It' emblazoned on the cover.
Spoof knows the names of all those mentioned in the documents and has been contacting them for comments. Unfortunately nobody can remember anything.
A man in dirty raincoat has visited the Spoof office advising us that we should not divulge the names. He passed an envelop to us with details on how to dispose of the complete dossier.
At the moment we are intending to abide by the top secret instructions - until the money runs out....