Written by Auntie Jean
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Monday, 30 June 2014

image for Jimmy Saville Ate My Hamster - Peers Morgan
Hamster similar to Peers Morgan's yesterday.

General all - purpose monster Jimmy Saville was allegedly so evil that he would regularly eat Peers Morgan's Hamster alive.

The famous 1990s red top tabloid headline was thought to be about someone else but it was revealed this morning by sources close to Peers that he (Peers) would never travel without hens and hamsters accompanying him.

Unsubstantiated reports claim that Saville would sit next to Peers Morgan in a First Class railway compartment and wait until Peers had to get up and go to the loo, leaving his hamsters and hens in the compartment.

On one such occasion Peers Screamed when he found Saville finishing off a live hamster and sitting grinning with blood and ginger fur around his mouth.

Freddy Star categorically did most certainly not eat anyone's hamster and neither did Richard Gear ever do anything inappropriate with or without Peers Morgan's hens or hamsters.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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