Written by Auntie Jean
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Sunday, 29 June 2014

image for Vacancy For Independent King Of Scotland - Prince Charles Sends C.V. To Linkedin
Two bottoms

H.R.H. Prince Charles of Wales, tired of waiting to be a Welsh King has sent his LinkedIn C.V. to Alexei Salmon, who Charles thinks may soon be looking for a King if Scotland becomes free. The C.V. is known to point out that Charles, although not blessed with a very high I.Q. has had a lot of near King experiences and has the whole of Cornwall paying rent to him. Although job shy (he has never worked in his life) he likes handouts from taxpayers.

The Prince would like a salary of around six million pounds for which he would declare things open such as fetes and new shopping centres and interfere with democratic processes that he doesn't agree with. As he doesn't wipe his own bottom, he will need a Butler / Royal Bottom Wiper to be provided for him. A separate servant would be required to put toothpaste on his brush each morning and evening. Also a Royal taster would be required to make sure not too many kitchen staff wank in his food. If he gets the job he will bring his goat with him.

H.R.H. Prince Phillip would become the Duke of Huddersfield on Charles' accesion to the Scottish throne.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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