Written by Glen D. Campbell
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Monday, 16 June 2014

image for Miliband Apologises For 'Page 3' Girl Affair

An apology was issued today by Labour Party leader Ed Miliband. It comes after he was subjected to a slew of criticism following the release of pictures of him posing with a topless 'page 3' model.

The picture, which features the model holding a sac of balls and Miliband playing keepie uppie, was taken as part of the growing desperation among politicians to use the media's present football mania, caused by the 2014 World Cup, to shamelessly draw attention to themselves.

In the apology issued today Miliband states, "I am aware of the sensitivity surrounding the use of 'page 3' models and appreciate that not everyone approves of their conduct. It is true that, on occasion, they have been known to artificially exaggerate their features. One could even argue that they only spout populist sentiment and have no real substance and that their predilection for salacious scandals, particularly ones involving professional footballers, is shameful. So to those I have offended by my actions, I am sorry."

When asked about the matter one Labour MP, who wished to remain anonymous, said, "Ed's made another PR gaff but he has done well to repair the damage. I think this whole affair with the 'page 3' girl shows that Ed handles his boobs well."

The Labour MP went on to add, "At least he wasn't caught posing with something really trashy like The Sun."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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