Prince Philip, husband of Queen Elizabeth of England, much to the surprise of his butler, valet and the guy who changes his diapers; woke up this morning and had not died in his sleep.
"Every morning for the past two years, we expect to find the Prince stiff as a board, his eyes affixed; staring up to the ceiling and his bed soaked from urine," said Royal Butler, Tom Suckmecock "of course, often the bed is soaked in urine but as yet we have yet to find him dead; I have lost countless bets because of this."
Philip - who turned 93 yesterday has no intention of dying just yet.
"If there is a chance I can offend some wog, chinky, paki or gypsy - then that gives me a reason to live," he said, while having his royal ass wiped by a flunky.
Apparently the Duke has a great sense of humor - lets see if he likes this.....