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Friday, 17 November 2006

image for Time Team to Excavate Griff Rhys Jones Face
No wrinkle will be left unturned

In conjuncture to the Beeb's Comics in Need night airing this week the "hit" televisual programme Time Team has chimed in with its own very special fund raising extravaganza.

For the first time on British television the comedian Griff Rhys Jones is to have is leather look face excavated to see what hidden treasures lay within. Tony Robinson will be leading the dig as usual with Sir Edgar Tippleswit and Professor Timothy Biscuitbarrel doing the actual digging, thinking and grand gestating while Robinson (an actor with no qualifications in archaeology) stands by the side of a trench asking such questions as "ooh what is that?" and "is that old then?".

During a recent interview with Time Team producer Jonald Ipswich, secrets pertaining to Rhys Jones shocked readers when it was revealed that the Welsh legend was in fact a staggering 3033 meters tall with a face radius of a whooping 27,000 feet across (that?s the equivalent of 25 football pitches).

Griff's secret has been kept by the media industry since he first appeared on the scene in 1864. Using revolutionary special effects he was able to share the small screen with "comedy" partner Mel Smith with only a handful of producers, co- stars and close friends knowing of his enormity.

With the knowledge of Griff's actual size now in the public domain he has agreed to the dig being carried on his face. Professor Biscuitbarrel is very excited by the prospect of finding Roman coins, Aztec pottery and series of small walls buried deep in the wrinkles of Sir Rhys Jones.

Griff says "If they find anything of any great wealth or importance then its mine and I meant to leave it there"

The project is scheduled to begin as soon as Tony Robinson stops reminiscing about the good old days when he could still draw an audience that weren't in their late 60's.

Mad Thinker

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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