Written by IainB
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Saturday, 7 June 2014

image for Cumbersome acronym to be changed
Hermann von Fehling - founder of SLAGBITQ and chemist.

The history of the gender and sexual orientation equality movement in the world can be traced through its acronym, which has evolved over time.

Originally there was just gay, but then lesbians wanted to be separated from gay, and LG was formed. Fortunately, just before the electronics giant took them to court over trademark infringement, bisexual people wanted in on the act, and it became LGB.

This movement served pretty well for about a decade, and became embedded in people's minds as a sexual orientation movement. Rather than start from scratch, transgender people tagged themselves onto the end of the acronym, and it became LGBT. The inclusion of transgender meant it now became a movement for the equality of sexual orientation and gender, instead of just sexual orientation.

This meant that the intersex population of the world suddenly felt excluded, so they had themselves tagged in the increasingly hard to say acronym, and it became LGBIT. This was slightly easier to say, and became even easier when androgynous people insisted that they were not left out, and slotted in between lesbians and gay for it to become LAGBIT.

All was well and good until those that didn't really know what they were, and were questioning their orientation and gender. The LAGBIT movement tagged their group on the end for ease of saying the name of the movement, and they became LAGBITQ.

All was fine and dandy until straight people said "hey, what about us? Surely we deserve to be in there too. And as there's more of us, we want to be at the front."

Thus SLAGBITQ came into being.

It was realised at this point that the acronym had become more cumbersome than ever before, and ever so slightly insulting, so a big meeting was held in the early hours of this morning at the SLAGBITQ's headquarters at the Slug And Lettuce in Altrincham, UK, to rename the movement to "Humanity".

From now on, the former SLAGBITQ movement want ever human on the planet to be treated equally and thought of as human.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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