Written by CaptainSausage

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Topics: Space, Comedy

Monday, 2 June 2014

image for TheSpoof to be delivered directly to Martians
Aliens: will they be amused? Or will our pathetic attempts at humour merely anger them?

British Space Engineering (BSE) have announced that they will be sending a rocket to Mars, in order to detect whether there is any life on the barren planet. The mission was first planned in 1979, but has only recently completed construction. As such, it is somewhat outdated and its aims have already been proved false. However, it is attracting widespread media attention for what the rocket will be carrying on board.

Organiser Colin Urth explained, "We all remember the Voyager space missions, where they sent up a record of different sounds from Earth and a picture of what humans look like. Well we decided to do the same thing, but being British we decided to spread a little comedy to the universe. Haha!"

In the NASA spacecraft from the 1970s were included a gramophone and recordings of classical artists, as well as greetings in numerous languages, and even yodelling. The craft also included the earliest example of space porn, with its anatomically correct nude drawings of a man and woman standing next to the spaceship.

Comedian Billy Moon, who specialises in space-based comedy, said, "Goodness knows what aliens would make of Voyager if they ever come across it. I think they'd get a bit of a shock if they actually visited Earth, only to find that we're not all naked yodellers who listen to Wagner. Unless they landed in Germany of course."

Mr Moon has been helping BSE to select a series of comedy items to include on the spacecraft before it launches next week. The spaceship will be named Chubby after infamous British comedian Roy Chubby Brown.

Comedic articles selected as part of Chubby's cargo include:

- a DVD of the second series of On The Buses;

- "Little And Large Live In Blackpool" on both VHS and Betamax;

- four sheets of A4 printouts of pages from TheSpoof website.

Also, to continue the grand tradition of space porn, a copy of Razzle will be placed on board.

Mr Urth was somewhat underwhelmed by the final result. "We were hoping for something a bit more impressive, like maybe an episode of Fawlty Towers, but I guess it was out of our budget."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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