Written by Jack Allen
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Topics: School, Kids, Parents

Sunday, 25 May 2014

image for School Being Sued By Parents Of 'Wild Teenager Gone Good'
Doesn't tell you to "get a life you snide old cunt!" anymore

Parents of 15-year-old Katie Smeilding are currently suing their daughter's high school for turning her into a person they no longer recognise; one that is respectful, polite and willing to learn.

Katie Smielding has had behavioural issues and a serious inability to interact appropriately with others from a young age. This led to 2 managed moves to other schools and a final warning being issued. At this point Katie began attending a club at her school ran by two influential teachers. They taught Katie and other pupils a range of life lessons through a myriad of activities and games. Since then, Katie's behaviour, interpersonal skills, grades and future opportunities in life have all drastically improved, but Katie's parents feel that this is not right.

Katie's Mum, Janice, today said: "Why is the school stepping in and doing a parent's job? She was doing just fine learning about things from her family and environment. This is what happens when you give schools too much control and influence over a young person's life! It's disgusting and we're going to sue the shit out of them for it! I want a daughter in my own image, not some stuck up teacher's shitty image. If they're a bit lively then give them some pills! Sorted, yeah?! Oh, plus the fucking school are now asking us for £2.20 because they gave Katie lunch last Wednesday when we forgot to give her some money. Why should we? They chose to give her the food. They're fucking animals!!"

The school declined to comment on this particular matter but stated, "with appropriate funding, training, and support from government officials, primary and secondary schools across the country could positively change the lives of more young people. This might happen in the future, but for now we are an anomaly in the system".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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