Written by Adrian Booth
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Topics: London, Hipsters

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Mark Anderson isn't your typical hipster. He doesn't drink flat whites, because that's what all the other hipsters drink and he's a lot more alternative then that, admits Anderson.

The first rule of being a hipster, is to not admit that you're a hipster. It's more common to reject the hipster label and follow up with, "even though I...." and then continue with how their lifestyle perfectly fits the hipster stereotype.

Anderson recently became frustrated after seeing a bunch of hipsters in Shoreditch eating oranges like most normal people. "Where's the edge in that? And they think they're all cool and alternative?", Anderson moaned.

Recently, Anderson has been seen walking around central London in his ragged, torn clothes from American Apparel. Despite having parents in Buckinghamshire with a 5 bedroom house and a stable for their two Thoroughbred horses, Anderson prefers to act poor in an attempt to show his 'artsy side'.

"If you'e going to make a name for yourself, you can't be following the crowd. I prefer to eat the peels of the orange and throw away fruit, because why be a sheep, you know"

Your corespondent questioned Anderson on the dietary health benefits that lead to this decision, and stated that there's more nutritional value in the fruit than the peel.

"See, this is why you're a pathetic loser reporter for The Spoof. You don't question society enough, and merely accept the status quo. What I'm doing here is setting a new trend, and once it catches on, I'll be forced to abandon it".

The interview was cut short due to your correspondent giving up with Anderson's pompous, childish attitude on life.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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