Data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) shows that self-employment is at a record high of 4 ½ million, helping push the overall jobless rate down to 6.8%
While the numbers look good on the surface, however, a poll reveals some disturbing details among those who claim to be self-employed.
15% described their self-employed profession as "Donation Solicitors Operating in a Non-Office Environment" (homeless beggar).
35% named their self-employed occupation as "Writer" (Facebook poster)
And a full 42% claimed their self-employed job consisted of "Royal Family Researcher" (Hacking into Kate Middleton's phone)
The remaining 8% appeared to be scattered among the more tradition jobs, such as financial adviser and handy man; however, disturbingly a full 2% described their occupation as "Jihadist".
A spokesperson for the Department for Work and Pension created a bit of a fuss when he announced that a 2% showing for 'Jihadist' was "Outstanding! That's a high-growth segment sure to keep growing and help keep pushing the overall unemployment rate down."
"Jihadist? Bloody Hell!" said Miles Cooper, a random man on the street, when asked his opinion of the results. "Where was the curriculum for that when I was a lad?"