Written by Jack Allen
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Sunday, 11 May 2014

image for Teachers "Going Mental" Over Hashtag Homework
"But sir, I do have an excuse as to why I don't have my hashtag..."

Pupils across the country are not carrying out their homework and are instead handing in pieces of A4 plain paper with a hashtag link written on it, furious teachers are reporting.

Teenagers across the country are using the newly created "Obama / Cameron" defence, as they are doing very little work in a situation which requires a lot of effort and dedication.

"This is not the same as actually doing something...is it?!" Said Jim Jefferson, Head teacher of Valley Park School in Kent. "These kids need positive role models who will do what is required in any situation that may arise. Where the fuck is Jack Bauer!"

As hundreds of schools attempt to bring their pupils back on track and teach them that world leaders are not those you look to in difficult times, Michael Gove is investigating the possibility of putting £400 million into creating a "Hashtag / Black Board Pen" A level, which would allegedly give today's young people a "head start in a tough economic climate" in which money cannot be just "thrown away".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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