Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 10 May 2014

image for The Queen is going bonkers at Rolf Harris sordid sex trial
Take your effing paint brush out of one's royal oompah, you cur!

London - She's been told to take it easy as alleged old perv Rolf Harris slugs it out in the dock at London's Central Criminal Court this week.

The octogenarian Oz entertainer has been charged with stuff despite being appointed Royal Pissartist - uh, Portraitist! - In Chief.

In 2005 he famously painted a resplendent picture of Her Maj, rumoured to show her totally and utterly starkers when viewed under ultraviolet light in the Palace morgue.

Art critics hailed the trompe l'oeil as akin in stature to the Shroud of Turin, something that Leonardo Da Vinci maybe made up.

This weekend a UK weekend tabloid has gone to press with side-by-side pics of Queen Elizardbirth and Rolf Harris on its front page, the nuances bursting with OMFG! cringe.

"No wonder the old bird's been told to take it easy," an expert on Australian piss artists said.

Plenty more revelations expected next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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