Written by Auntie Jean
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Friday, 2 May 2014

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Tea time garbage

The BBC has offered to provide free airline-type sick bags for its Blue Peter - like "One Show" broadcasts, During the time at which the program is transmitted record incidences of vomiting are invariably reported. More viewers throw up while watching the puerile show than people infected with the Norvirus, a report in the "Radio and T.V." magazine stated this morning.

The show, which treats viewers like 5 year olds features "magazine style" items of news, punctuated with thinly disguised nannying and moral guidance. The show has been reported as having more insincere beaming smiles per minute than a Royal birth announcement.

The extremely irritating "tuck you up in bed" Blue Peter type programme is thought to be considering a "make your own sofa from corn flakes packets" slot. Presenters have ranged from nasty Cockney voiced midget Dominic Pittlewood to cleavage flaunting
knicker flashing beauty Alex Jones. Currently the Durham born failed dancer, bumbling acrobat and former Blue Peter presenter Matt Banker leads the field in the insincerity stakes accompanied by juvenile acting, "Milky Bar Kid" look alike Chris Evans. A "One Show" garden has been vandalised recently sparking off more comparisons with Blue Peter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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