Written by Backandtotheleft
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Wednesday, 30 April 2014

image for Stop! In The Name Of Search!
White? Middle Class? Homeowner? Go Forth for you are exempt.

A government study has discovered that 1/3 of all police "stop and searches" are illegal. The searches have been carried out (despite being signed off by a senior officer) without any "due reason" and innocent people have been searched only because they fit certain profiles.

Today Theresa May announced in Prime Ministers questions (which makes a intense Governmental debate sound more like a kid's TV program) major reforms in the way stop and searches are performed. Back and to the Let news hopes the police stop using a colour chart for a start.

The police will be made to undertake "unconscious bias training" which doesn't mean they will be beaten about the head until they realise that every black person doesn't carry a knife. Mrs May went on to say that any police officer who didn't understand the stop and search laws would be forced to retake the training. Surely though if they don't understand the law their upholding then they should be fired? I mean if we couldn't work the burger machine in the burger making factory we worked in then surely we would get sacked?

Back and to the Left news welcomes the training, in fact welcomes anything that stops a policeman going straight for his mace every time he see's a Mosque. However it worries us a bit that the new training will include a "Beard Chart" to identify potential terrorists. We have the feeling that our facial hair (we have sparrows nesting in them) may subject us to a couple of searches of the more vigorous kind.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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