Manchester-Ryan Giggs or 'Giggs-y' as he insists on being called reflected sulkily on his first week in charge of Manchester United the club he's supported since he were a lad. "Oooh it were right nice, i'm dead luck-eh int I? We'll be right good again." said Giggs-y his arm defiantly placed round the shoulder of his latest girlfriend-sy who is 1.5 times taller than him approximately.
Journalists covering the appointment Giggs-y were led to a small clearing in woods near to United's training ground at Carrington-sy where they were frisked by a group of very small yet larger-than-life cheeky, cheery people whose faces were obscured by tracksuit hoods. Crap beats were played on a sound system controlled by Chris-sy Smalling-sy and Giggs-y and his staff answered questions by muttering inaudibly while staring at their shoes and swaying from side to side. There was a pause in questioning as Giggs-y's 'mate' Scholes-sy attempted a break dancing face off with Adnan Januzaj-sy
When Giggs-y was asked if he could speak up the Welsh wizard-sy remonstrated curtly "Oooh I don't know love I'll have to ask me Mum." Journalists were forced to retreat because of an overpowering smell of rancid fish and chips, an overemphasis on youth, and an undeniable sense of deep grievance at not being universally worshipped by football people-sy.
"Ta for coming the p-lace is going to be rockin' on Sunday. Tara!"