After finding a pile of white Archbishop robes in a skip, clergy have announced that the Archbishop of Canterbury and the majority of Canterbury related bishopry have crossed to the dark side.
The Archbishop, whose very existence might have been influenced by the Sith, may have become Bish Vader, one of the most feared Sith Lords in history.
Spotted in black robes with a black light sabre and three droids, earlier today he strangled our reporter with an invisible hand. In his Easter Sermon Bish Vader of Canterbury will astonishingly emphasise eating, drinking and partying. Bish Vader Justin Wallaby is to deliver what will be his second Easter message since becoming head of the Church of England at Canterbury Cathedral.
He will refer to the "enjoy life while you're here, you're dead a long fucking time" philosophy.