Written by Jack Allen
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Topics: Theft, Alzheimer's

Monday, 9 June 2014

image for Man Finally Caught Stealing From Neighbour With Alzheimer's
"You're in the middle moving house Dave! Anything else we need to move?"

A man was last night convicted of the theft of a sofa belonging to his next-door neighbour, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease.

Jez Bishop, 45, from Nottingham has been living the high life for years because he has been regularly stealing from his neighbour. The victim, known locally by schoolchildren as 'the memento man', was only on the Police's radar as a repeat hoax caller, potentially to report a theft, but always asked for no42 with egg fried rice. The ploy, which could be happening all across the world, was only discovered through a careless tweet from the offender, that was quickly investigated by Police.

"cigs, booze and coke courtesy of Dave @ no.7. Not that he knows! ;-) #davessofasponosorsthisparty"

The Police responded to this tweet under an alias and then found the sale of the sofa on Gumtree under 'Who Wants Dave's Gash Sofa?' Jez was given 250 hours of community service and the sofa has been recovered. However, Dave refused to accept the sofa as he had "never owned one" and was allegedly annoyed the officers had not brought him his takeaway.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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