Written by Auntie Jean
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Friday, 18 April 2014

image for Dyson Flown Out To Advise on Cyclone Threats to Phillipines
A bagless, filterless re - engineered Cyclone

Sir Brian "Bagless" Dyson was watching cyclones outside his window whlle vacuuming his house when he realised a high grade cyclone was losing suction. A weather forecaster by training, Dyson went to work re - inventing meteorological technology to free up the latent power of cyclones, but that wasn't his only challenge.

Fifteen years and more than 5,000 prototypes later, he launched Dysonbag Limited to alter weather cyclones when no other manufacturer would take it on. Dyson claims to have removed yet another annoyance from the westher "Bad Boy": the need to replace filters, making hiding from the cyclone the only maintenance you need to do.

Michael Fish told our reporter, "Getting rid of bags solved the frustration of weather systems losing suction. But enormous filters, or even worse buying them, was still a nuisance". Bagless, managing director of Dysonbagless and inventor of the cyclonic bagless weather cyclone said "Dyson modified cyclones are so efficient at causing mayhem and separating microscopic particles that everything gets thrust into the eye of the weather system, and you can forget about fallen trees and burst dams and go straight to Hell on Earth".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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