Written by Paxton Quigley
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Friday, 18 April 2014

image for Militant Atheists to Celebrate Easter
Mr. B.L. Zebub speaks

The Atheist Society of Great Britain today announced that it will be organising street parties nationwide throughout the Easter period. Atheist Society spokesperson B.L. Zebub explained why to the alcohol sodden Church of England press corps.

"Well, we all know that this cult leader by the name of Christ was supposed to have been crucified by the Romans sometime around the year 1879 BE - that's before Einstein for we unbelievers - and we think it's about time that his demise was properly celebrated.

"OK so you're all thinking that's a bit gross and I can understand that, but just think about it for a while. Even before he was born of the supposed virgin Mary religion was being used as an excuse for killing, raping and pillaging and it became even worse after the Romans had topped the self-proclaimed son of a non-existent god. Since then this conman's name has been used to justify the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, pogroms against Jews, the conversion and enslavement of indigenous peoples worldwide, the killing of homosexuals and lesbians, child molestation etc etc. Offshoots of his cult are trying even today to get us all to live according to some book that was written and compiled back in the dark ages a couple of hundred years after the event. I ask you. What the fuck is going on?

"Oops! Sorry about the profanity, but really shouldn't we be glad that the Romans got rid of him or it could have been even worse? I'll see you all in Hyde Park on Easter Sunday."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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