Written by Jack Allen
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Topics: Cars, Men

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

image for Sports Cars To Tell The Truth
The owner's glovebox is allegedly pretty empty

All new sports cars are being fitted with a chip that screams the words "embarrassing penis length inside", when it is revved unnecessarily from a stationary position.

The 'truth-chip' will be a big blow to large car manufacturers such as Porsche and Ferrari due to their profits relying heavily on men with stunted sausages. However, according to single lady Molly Pawring, this is not the only issue large sports car manufacturers have to deal with because of the 'truth chip'.

"It's about time this warning is heard across the nation. I'm sick of being conned into sucking guys off because they've got awesome sports cars, only to find out their junk is actually human dental floss. I'm only banging the working class now and I advise other women to do the same. They'll stop buying those cars if we do!"

This news has left escort businesses rubbing their hands, for financial reasons this time, with one owner saying: "Slags giving away decent pussy for free has been ruining our business for years! All the companies in Essex are now closed. Now they're hopefully leaving our target market alone and we can swoop in and cash in on these deluded people."

Everyone has not welcomed the 'truth chip' but it is believed that there will be a larger outcry from the male community upon the release of a laptop with 'undeletable Internet history' next month.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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