Quirky deceased Rochdale Liberal M.P. Cyril Smith was not fat according to a report commisioned by the Dead Politicians Research Committee.
Investigations into his death reveal that he was simply not as tall as he should have been. Cyril should have been eight feet seven and a half inches in his sticking feet, his grandmother told our reporter yesterday.
His father was nine feet tall and his mother, a huge midget, was eight feet six inches tall. An accident when he was 13 years old led to him having to be compressed in a steel prosthetic caliper arrangement, resulting in stunted growth. Cyril had several trials with the Rochdale Globetrotter basketball team, but sadly was about two feet too short to make the grade.