There was trouble at mill as the Culture Vulture, who nobody loves, Maria Miller, threw in the towel after ten rounds of her heavy weight bout with her supporters at the highly esteemed Mail and Telegraph.
She suffered severe wounding to her pride and is being treated for her injuries by Dr Cameron, who has been acting as her Manager. Cameron has told Spoof exclusively that he is proud of Maria's fight and felt he had to call an end to the contest when he saw his private opinion polls putting him, astonishingly, behind Ed Millerband (no relation).
Celebrations at Labour HQ were muted as it was realised that Miller's blood could only benefit UKIP who have suddenly come out favourites for Europe. This is despite the fact that they are against Europe!
Cameron is looking around for another woman to come into his Cabinet but no one is keen to enter the ring from the fair sex. 'After what happened to Maria' said one Tory lady 'I don't feel like getting involved with Cameron in his Cabinet.'