Written by Auntie Jean

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Monday, 7 April 2014

image for Father Christmas using Elf Labour - Sunday Tabloid.

Santa Claus admitted using Elves and Pixies with no N.I. numbers to an undercover reporter working for The Sunday Leftovers. 100,000 elves were freed by police and granted bail, pending an investigation by Immigration Control. Santa is thought by some people to have grassed on them and helped to set the sting up so that Christmas Toys P.L.C. could be run entirely from a warm place with cheap labour.

Earlier in the year Santa was overheard bemoaning the fact that Elves live forever and he was still forking out for the pensions of retired pixies from the 1750s. Also they are all wise to this "I've had an accident" lark after those no win no fee advertisements on T.V. "Elves are great with wood, but you can't make an X box out of wood! The whole Santa thing is kind of ridiculous and needs a makeover" said Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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