Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Theresa May

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

image for Disasters committee launches TV appeal to buy Brit Home Secretary Theresa May a 'magic' ionic hairbrush
At Prime Monster's Questions today

London - The nation needs redemption from the savage misery inflicted on hapless TV viewers subjected to close-ups of Theresa May's terrible 'haunted house' hair.

In an era of unprecedented advances in hair beauty products Ms May remains a stalwart Luddite, her wiry untamed tresses rebellious to the last.

This week a national disasters committee is readying to take matters in hand with a televised appeal for emergency funds to buy the wild-haired Home Secretary a magic ionising hairbrush.

The battery operated styling tool uses microscopic bursts of radiation (sic) to fry - uh, freak! - the hell out of wayward hair kinks at the touch of a button leaving hair soft, manageable and camera ready instead of something resembling a decomposing crow.

Readers are welcome to join the appeal by downloading a sponsorship form by clicking right here.

UKIP supporters please abstain.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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