Written by Auntie Jean

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Monday, 31 March 2014

image for Handout Madness - Now M.P.s Claim Expenses for Claiming Expenses

While countries such as Spain crumble under top heavy government administration costs, E.U. rules now state that all M.P.s of member States must now submit claims for claiming for expenses. Additionally, claims must be made for petrol costs for driving to the garage to fill up with petrol.

Expenses are now claimable for time spent breathing while meeting the electorate in constituencies.

The new regulations are designed as a cross party mechanism to standardise claim procedures. A controversial regulation was also passed yesterday reimbursing M.P.s for the administration costs of bring paid.

The moment an M.P. gets out of bed, a £1000 getting out of bed allowance is paid, and an inconvenience allowance for the costs of getting the allowance cashed is paid.

The minister for freebies and jollies, Uria Crepe said, "well this brings M.P.s level with the rest of the U.K. workforce now that the minimum wage is so high".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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