According to an anonymous source who alleges to be a high-level member of Parliament, even the British government doesn't understand the British monetary system.
The fundamental British currency, the Pound Sterling, usually referred to simply as the pound, is comprised of a confusing array of smaller portions that have long confounded everyone in the civilized world - now including, it would seem, the British themselves.
According to the official, when deciding which way to vote on national monetary policy, most members of Parliament turn to old episodes of Monty Python's Flying Circus or the more current episodes of Dr. Who.
The anonymous source adds "we thought we had a handle on it, what what, know what I mean, then that cursed new Sherlock Holmes comes on the telly and we're all higglety piggtelty again, what what! Oh bollocks!" The official is then alleged to have admitted he didn't know what "bollocks" means, but he's heard people use it on The Tube.
An official from the U.N., representing an undisclosed country in Africa, said "On my trip to London last year, I just put a pile of money on the counter and hoped the clerk was honest enough to take the correct amount.
"In my country, everyone knows that three chickens are worth a goat, and two goats are worth an average cow, or three goats for a premium cow. But what the hell is a pence and a shilling?"