Written by j.w.
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Friday, 21 March 2014

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Scnapps's Bottle

Grant Scnapps, Tory Chairman - whose father was a well known immigrant from Eastern Europe - has twitted that Beer & Bingo are the working man's (and woman's) greatest joys. But he has landed himself in at Eton Mess.

He has been clobbered by the old Etonians in the Cabinet who described his references to the working man (and woman) as decidedly patronising.

David Cameron has thrown the book at Scnapps, warning him that if he subverts the working class any further he will be sent to Coventry, where he is unlikely to win a seat.

George Osborne, who is now looking forward to his retirement, complained that Scnapps had taken all the attention from his brilliant Budget that has won over the grey voters from UKIP. 'I'm looking forward to my world cruises when I retire' he told a Spoof hack 'and I fear Scnapps has brought this day rather closer than I wanted.'

Scnapps - now referred to in disgust by old Etonians as BBC (Beer & Bingo Cretin) - is busy thinking up his new tweet. He is focusing on the mystery of the Malaysian aircraft and assures his friends that Tory policies will bring the aircraft into a safe landing in due course.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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