Written by Joe Leff
Print this

Monday, 17 March 2014

A 40-year-old man had to have hospital treatment after he ate his own finger.

Ivor Wonmissin, from Gateshead, was poking about trying to pick out bits of meat that had got stuck in his teeth after his meal, when he accidentally bit into his index finger.

"Trouble was," he said, "we didn't have a pudding, and my finger tasted quite nice. So I just kept nibbling away. Next thing I knew my whole finger had gone. The knuckles were delicious."

At the hospital Mr Wonmissin was stitched up and foul-tasting barrier cream was rubbed into his remaining fingers.

His wife has promised to make sure they always have a dessert with every meal. "He's a bit of a glutton, and he's always biting his nails."

And now it's just been reported that several other hungry blokes in Gateshead have been trying out this 'digit-eating' stuff.

Jamie Oliver is already devising a new 'finger-buffet' recipe for posh people in Gateshead.

Make Joe Leff's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 3?

5 16 15 8
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more