Written by Talking Tic-Tacs
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Wednesday, 12 March 2014

image for Shock as Actual Difference in Policy Announced
Critics Pan Inquiries and Question Referenda

Labour leader and aardvark impersonator Ed Miliband has announced that the party will not offer a referendum on EU membership if they were to gain power, directly opposed to the current Governments promise of holding an In/Out referendum on the issue. It is as yet unclear whether that would be followed by a Shake It All About referendum on Hokey Pokey membership.

Observers have noted that it has taken a hypothetical envisaging of nearly two years down the road to come up with a tangible difference in approach by the two main parties, as well as distracting the masses from the impending referendum on our own shores.

Since the Blair Administration you could hardly fit a fag paper between Labour and the Conservatives and as such they regularly argue over semantics of minute issues that they broadly have the same attitude to. Like for example, debating over whether we should be debating over being involved in debating in Europe.

Even here however the Prime Minister is in agreement with opposite number Ed Milipanned with both being pro EU, but is forced to hold a referendum on the issue by the imperialist EU sceptics in his own party. Therefore the actual difference in policy actually only amounts to Cameron being held to ransom by his party.

So to clarify, the leader of the Labour Party wants to remain within the EU and the UK. The leader of the Conservatives wants to remain within the EU and the UK. And the leader of the other one, Nick Legg, wants to remain within the EU and the UK.

However with the upcoming Scottish Independence from the UK referendum as well as the UK independence from the EU referendum, and presumably the EU independence from the World referendum, followed by the World independence from the Universe referendum, it is believed some are fed up with the whole 'referendum' thing and their increasing frequency.

Indeed a judge-appointed Inquiry into the ubiquity of the referendum has been arranged. Ironically so has a referendum. On whether we should be having so many judge-appointed Inquiries or not.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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