Liberal democrat-fever has hit sky-high records in the town of York this past weekend where the spring Liberal Democrat conference is taking place. The party arrived by coach where screaming and adoring fans were waiting holding banners and begging for autographs.
A chant of "We want Nick" broke out amongst the teenage girls, all desperate to get a glimpse of the coalition member. When he finally emerged from the bus, police had to set up a temporary barricade to prevent him being set upon by the fans. One police man described the devoted teen fans as like "Hysterical and lustful zombies"
Whilst police escorted the sought-after politician to his hotel using riot shields and truncheons to fend off people, the makeshift barricade gave way and the teenagers jumped on Nick Clegg, pulling at his trousers and pants. Eventually the politician managed to crawl out whilst tear gas canisters were shot into the crowds as a distraction.
"His time in office has been an absolute success with his introduction of liberal values into a predominantly right-wing party usually interested in profit" Said self-proclaimed "Clegg-Head" Lindsey McCormack, speaking through emotional tears as she revealed a part I clothing she managed to tear off of the party leader. Before composing herself an adding "and he's really fit as well!"
Just last night, extra security were called into the hotel the Liberal Democrats were staying at when it was reported an 18 year old girl had snuck into the hotel via a room service trolley and managed to get into Nick Clegg's hotel room.