Written by Lord Number Nine
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Friday, 28 February 2014

image for Wings Over Scotland forced to withdraw 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books as the figures don't add up
Calculators can be used to spell 'boobs'.

Internet bampot and Chief Cybernat Stuart Campbell has been forced into an embarrassing u-turn after his 'Learn to Count with Wings' maths books were found to be strewn with errors.

The books were launched earlier this week in a blaze of glory, intending to help Scottish (but not English) children learn to count using Scottish things from Scotland.

But within a few hours, eagle-eyed kids had started spotting mistakes in the pages, leaving Campbell red-faced and furious.

"I'm furious," he said, red-faced.

Further investigation found that every single sum was incorrect, with the answer given by Wings being far greater than the true amount.

Campbell, who runs the pro-independence website 'Wings Over Scotland' from his English home was remaining silent on the issue. For once.

However, his sycophantic deranged followers were not so shy with their opinions.

One said:"This is clearly another Unionist smear campaign. They're full of dirty tricks and negativity. Any true Scot can see the figures add up".

Another ranted: "Yet another example of bullying, bluff and bluster," before adding "Beatbox, Bobby Bare, Brian Blessed, bawbags and buggery".

It is not known how much this will affect Wings' reputation but it is understood that Campbell will now shelve plans to release the follow up book 'How to Spend like a Reverend'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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