Written by Joe Leff
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Friday, 28 February 2014

Police have rounded up several angry chickens, following the discovery of the badly-tattered body of an elderly woman last week.

After forensic investigations, Detective Inspector Ivor Nyedeer reckoned that 81-year-old Gladys Sawloaver had been the victim of a frenzied attack by her own highly motivated chickens who pecked her to death.

Further enquiries revealed that these aggressive chickens had been bribed to attack the woman in a bizarre pay deal set up by Mrs Sawloaver's neighbour, Ernie Oldiyon.

"If I chucked them a few handfuls of little silver 5p pieces, they would do anything for me,"admitted Mr Oldiyon. "And I really wanted rid of Mrs Sawloaver. She was driving me mad, shouting at her chickens all day long."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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