Written by queen mudder
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Topics: IRA, Hutton Enquiry

Thursday, 27 February 2014

image for Clinton, Bush Sr and Jr welcome Hutton Report-style of whitewash into IRA fugitives pact
Dubya welcomed today's announcement

Washington DC - They were once described by the UN, NATO, Interpol, the CIA, Mossad, MI6, KGB, Savak, the French Gendarmerie and the Stasi as being 'in bed with Tony B Liar and the IRA'.

Today three former US Presidents were reportedly cock-a-hoop at the news from London that British PM David Cameron has announced a Lord Hutton-style whitewash inquiry into get-out-of-jail cards for the IRA.

"It's the least he could do," a spokesperson for ex-President George Herbert Bush commented, "the Brits owe us this gold-plated cover-up big time."

Also welcoming the news that the inquiry would be based on the same tried and trusted bullshit recipe as the UK's definite probe into Iraq's weapons of mass destruction was former President Clinton and George Dubya Bush.

Both men's lifelong love affairs with the Provisional IRA famously spawned legions of atrocities - and masses of Irish-sourced re-election dollars.

Their grateful remarks come just days after Rebekah Brooks revealed in the dock of the Old Bailey - Britain's premier central criminal court - that Tony Blair had advised her to establish her own Lord Hutton-style whitewash into NewsCorpse phone hacking under her editorship.

Earlier this week it was revealed that ousted Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych also received identical Hutton Report-style advice from Blair after he was arrested by his own border guards while attempting to flee the country.

"Today's announcement by David Cameron will warm the cockles of all IRA bastards' hearts," someone tweeted in Dublin tonight.

Expect publication of all the findings on April 1st.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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